If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Drunk is a universal language darling
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
