I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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