someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize