I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
