hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
