Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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