You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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