she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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