im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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