a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
