I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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