walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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