Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize