there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
