What a fucking waste of an outfit
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
