So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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