everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
