I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
