for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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