I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
