this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
