just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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