Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
