there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i think my cat just said my name.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
