yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
