I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
