The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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