Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
