I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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