I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
