My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize