I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Someone signed my nipple.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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