I can text with my tongue
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So much rum. So many feels.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
