he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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