I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
