I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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