I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
