I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
