Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
