I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
