never play flip cup with pint glasses
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
