Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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