Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
