glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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