fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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