Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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