he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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