WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
