I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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