Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize