Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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