how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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