I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Sponge bath it is.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
