she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
