i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
