I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
