Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
