he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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