I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
