Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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