I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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