hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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