Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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