You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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