I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
