Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
