No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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