im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
where are my eyebrows?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
