Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
