Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
