Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
