We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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