I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
