Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
