you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
