New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
