Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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