I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize