i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
